As i completed a workout today at Orangetheory Charleston, this was on the screen as we were cooling down (which i usually never stay for) and it spoke to me.
This is not news to anyone who knows me, but my diagnosis of stage 3 colorectal cancer was almost exactly 6 months ago. I have spent those months fighting for my life, attacking those cancer cells with radiation/chemo and surgery and am currently undergoing 6 more months of IV and oral chemo. I’m stubborn and hardheaded and determined- a perfect combo for kicking cancer’s ass.
But there are times when anxiety and fear are crippling because i worry about the unknown and “what could happen.” What if i have a complication? What if i can’t work? What if i have progression? What if i have to live my life glued to the toilet? What if i have to think about cancer every day for the rest of my life?
But today, I got a gentle reminder that it is about what i have, not what i don’t have. I have cancer but I’m living. I’m being treated. I’m working. I’m exercising. I have the support of amazing family and friends. And i have people all over the world praying for me and cheering me on.
And for those unknowns (that i currently don’t have but tend to worry about) – whether they happen or not, i will handle them when their time comes. Life will go on. And most likely, i will deal with them with the same determination and stubbornness i have right now.
So for now, i am going to focus on what i do have. I am thankful for that reminder today.