My 1/2 birthday

Today i am 40 and a 1/2 years old. I usually celebrate my half birthday, as it was a tradition in our family when we were kids. But i actually didn’t realize it was my half birthday until i looked at my Facebook memories and saw that 11 years ago i announced that i was 29 1/2 years old, and 10 years ago i announced that i was 30 1/2 years old. Ahhh, to be young again. 🙂

And now today i’m 40 and a 1/2 years old. And i have cancer. That is all that i can think about now.

I know i will make it to 41 and then 41 and a 1/2 and so on and so forth, but my perspective is different. Unfortunately cancer makes you worry that you wont see those years. I do have my fears but most of them are irrational and i have to be talked down from a ledge that i shouldn’t be on in the first place. Carson has been a source of strength and tolerance/patience that i don’t always feel like i deserve….i go down this rabbit hole of “doom and gloom” and have to be pulled out.

Anyway, today i’m 40 and a 1/2 years old. I am fortunate to be here. I am looking forward to many many years of celebrating 1/2 birthdays in the future.