Third post: A bad day

Tuesday was a bad day.  And when I say bad day, think of me bawling my eyes out for at least an hour while getting ready for work, and then crying all the way into work, and then pulling up my big girl panties and going into work, only to cry again for another hour plus when I got there.  I know I’m going to have good and bad days but hell, I haven’t even started treatment yet!

What I wanted on Tuesday was to create a time machine and go back to when I started having blood in my stool.  RIGHT THEN I should have gotten a colonoscopy.  I should not have waited.  I should not have made excuses (“it’s just stress”, “I’m sure I have IBS”, “I don’t have time to take two days off from work.”)  My life would have been so different.  Would they just have seen a polyp?  Would they find the cancer but it just be Stage 1?  Or Stage 2?  The game of “what if” got me so worked up that I couldn’t control myself anymore and I cried more than I had over the past two weeks….i mean crocodile tears and ugly crying.  It wasn’t pretty.

I know my story would be so different IF I had done things differently.  But I didn’t.  I can’t dwell on it. And now I’m blessed with my cancer and my journey.  And let me tell you, if my story/journey can make a difference in one person’s life, then it is all worthwhile.  I don’t wish this diagnosis, or any cancer diagnosis on anyone.

So with that being said, I’m going to be super annoying and pump you full of Colorectal Cancer facts/symptoms/etc. This comes from the Colorectal Cancer Alliance.

Colorectal cancer Symptom List

Colorectal cancer (cancer in the colon or rectum) first develops with few, if any, symptoms. Be proactive and talk to your doctor. If symptoms are present, they may include:

-A Change in Bowel Habits,

-Persistent Abdominal Discomfort

-Rectal Bleeding

-Finding blood (either bright red or very dark) in your stool

-Weakness or Fatigue

When to See a Doctor

The symptoms of colon cancer and rectal cancer can also be associated with many other health conditions. Only a medical professional can determine the cause of your symptoms.

Early signs of cancer often do not include pain. It is important not to wait before seeing a doctor. Early detection can save your life.

Remember, the most common symptom is NO symptom, which is why we call it the silent killer. If you’re 45, average risk, get screened!


3 thoughts on “Third post: A bad day

  1. Love ya girl! Actually Eric and I have been talking and I am going to schedule a colonoscopy with my doctor next week. This is an eye opener not only for me but for my family. Thanks for sharing your journey and the facts on this because those of us who do not know all of the medical stuff it definitely helps to investigate it further. You are and will continue to be in our thoughts and prayers!


  2. Lauren and I are praying for you! Thank you for sharing with everyone, a lot of people are going to helped by you doing this. You’re living one of my worst fears, the my-life-after-this-moment-is-going-to-be-way-different-than-I-planned event. I’m praying for you! You probably know this already, but you are a very important person in the story of my family. When we tell people about how things happened to get us into pulmonary fellowship, it always includes “and then Lara Lambert was telling the medicine chief residents that there was a pulmonary spot that hadn’t matched, and they told her that Richard had just been in their office expressing his new plan to apply for pulmonary fellowship the next year. So Lara walked straight into the fellowship director’s office to tell him, and then he called Richard into his office…” You’re affecting lives for the better all the time, Lara! Keep it up!


  3. Richard- don’t you love being the 5th fellow? I was too (we were the first class to have 5).
    I wish i remembered having a large impact on you getting the fellowship spot but i have a bad memory. I would blame it on the chemo but that hasn’t started yet. 😉
    I so appreciate you and Lauren keeping me in your prayers.
    And thank you for reaching out to me.


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